Attitude Adjustment

It is truly amazing how quickly you can change your outlook on life when you are fully ready to do so.

I came in to work today much more energized and content than has been normal over the past 6 months.  Nothing changed about my job.  It is still hard, complicated, often frustrating, and demands a great deal of my effort and time.  It was my attitude and outlook on life in general. 

I don't think my manager used to believe the massive amount of workload I had because I was always smiling, always had a can-do attitude, pleasant, and making witty comments even on the really rough days. 

In the past 6 months, work has been tougher than normal as well, but it was my attitude which had changed.  I was hitting and then hit 30 and I felt like my life was on a permanent spin cycle.  Waiting, waiting, waiting, running around in circles hoping something would change.  Admittedly I was a little zombie-ish.  I wasn't working out as much, I wasn't seeing friends as much, I simply wasn't doing much "living". 

Going back to live for me has already changed my attitude in a record two days.  It surprised me today.  I smiled, I was bubbly, and I wasn't glass half empty about my work.  I was just genuinely happier and regained the calming sense that my life is going to be okay no matter what happens.
Instead of continuing to "wait" I will continue to do things that make me happy.  It really serves two purposes.  One, obviously, it makes me happy to do what I enjoy.  Two it gives me my own space and time to become clear of mind.  Lately my mind has just been a giant mud pit so that is really important.  Any decisions I have to make either way I want to make logically and rationally, not out of emotional distress.  I think that will help me conversationally as well.  I need to be logical and rational and not be bursting into some sobbing BS about "ww w why d d d on't you lo o oove meeee".  Yeah, rereading that sentence, I don't even want to hear it.

Happy Monday to all.  Haven't felt super happy on a Monday in a while.  Feels good to be getting my feet back under me...even if Debbie's ab blaster class almost made me throw up today. :-)