Only Mr. Forever "Won't Give up"

The perfect marriage proposal by Jason Mraz:

"I Won't Give Up"
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold

And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.
I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
What gets me about the song is the understanding you are walking into something knowing it's not always going to be rainbows and sunshine and being ready for the work, patience, and growth because you love that person so so much.

I think many people walk towards marriage thinking its going to solve something.  Thinking it will do something to enhance their relationship and dissolve issues.  And especially in women, when they decide they are ready to marry, shove the logic out the window of "is this relationship right?" "Is this man right for me?"

I think we could afford to take a cue from men on this one.  Yup...I said it.  No matter what point they are in the dating stage, they generally don't move forward until they've fully considered the relationship, its characteristics, and if it is the right relationship to move forward.  I think some times for women after the "I love you's" have been exchanged we stop looking and qualifying our partner.  We go in to la la love land and forget to keep going back in, taking an honest look, and thinking hard about "is this situation, person, relationship right for me in the end?" "Should I even be saying yes if he asks?"

Biology has screwed us quite a bit clogging our heads with deadlines for families.  However, how many relationships have you had, which ended, and you thought to yourself later, "why the hell did I date him so long?"  I remember doing this in college.  I dated a guy for a yr and a half.  He lived in the apartment below me.  I was IN the relationship.  Being so close the people in our apartments were all good friends, we all did everything together, and we saw each other every day never even needed to have a fight about a drawer or key since everything of your own was right there.  We exchanged "I love you's", we even talked about marriage a few times like it was something we wanted in the future.  I think one day he woke up in went "whoa - what are we doing? I'm not really that into this".  I cried my eyes out because I didn't see it coming.  However, within 48 hrs I was shaking my head at myself thinking "Why the heck did I date him so long? I don't really like him that much."  48 hrs of clearing my head was all I needed to come to the same conclusion he did.  Scary.

My point is this, and a lot of us ladies do it...  We get so wrapped up in our relationships, we get so wrapped up in this fantasy of the future we stop qualifying the person we are with.

No one is ever going to say those Jason Mraz words to us if we are busy being "lost" in love with Mr. Now instead of qualifying Mr. Now, deciding if Mr. Now is right, and moving on to go look for Mr. Forever if he isn't.

To get to the marriage which lasts a life time and doesn't end in despair we need to qualify more.  We need to trust that we are amazing and Mr. Forever will find us.  But if we keep hanging around with Mr. Now and not qualifying him, we may have met Mr. Forever on the street, who didn't ask us out because we aren't single right now.

Do you want an average to crappy happyish life with someone, or would you rather risk being single to find someone whos going to love you so hard he'll stick through everything with you?   ...so simple on paper.  Don't let biology or external pressures get in the way of getting everything you deserve out of life.  Have faith that what you desire is rational and reasonable, you deserve it, and go after it.

Happy Thursday...thank God this week is almost over.