Mean is the Best Nice

There is nothing worse than the feeling of breaking something off with someone you care about, watching them go through that pain and knowing you were the cause of it.  It makes me think a lot about what is the best thing I can do for him right now.  What is best for me to do, how should I act to help him heal?   ...Is being 'mean' the nicest thing you can do?

Emotions are not always rational.  You do not turn from loving someone to hating them or wanting nothing to do with them just because they have hurt you.  It makes it hard to figure out what the best way is to deal with a recent ex, especially when you know they are probably looking for any signs of hope that it may not be totally over.

When you get that "I just want you to know I miss you" text, how are you supposed to respond when you do care about that person however do not want to hurt them more by telling them you still care, giving them false hope?

It feels horrible to be 'mean'.  To leave that text lingering without reciprocation...I know it doesn't make me a bad person for not feeling the same, but I sure feel like one.  However, sometimes the nicest thing you can do in the long run is to be mean.  Giving false hope only makes you so much meaner in the long run.

By 'mean' I am not saying to call your ex names or do something spiteful.  Its about being honest.  Especially when honest is going to really really hurt.  If this is someone you care about you owe them gut wrenching honest.  Sugar coating the break up is only leaving them confused for a longer period of time, not giving them closure and making it harder for them to figure out whats going on and eventually heal.

Being mean I do believe is the hardest thing I have ever done.  I wish doing the right thing could feel better.  I wish doing right by me didn't have to mean making someone else have the worst day of their life.  That said, there is nothing truly meaner than only ripping half a band aid off and having it hang there pulling on your skin.  Ripping it off in one solid motion is the only way to let the wound heal.

This is hard.  I know it will pass, but even though this was the right and necessary path for me, being mean to be nice is the hardest most hurtful thing I've ever done.